Schlumpadinka Couture

Shlumpadinka

The days of deep hibernation are over, but we’re still full on shlumpadinkas! Yes, Oprah taught us in the ways of the shlumpadinka a long time ago and now we’re embracing the art of letting go. Come dance with us in your floppiest shlumpy tent! Fall out of bed & onto the dance floor.

To fill the room with super chillaxed vibes we’re very exited to have Macy Rodman from NYC with us. The Lazy Girl video is on heavy rotation in our beds. Macy recently released the debut EP HELP.
Join us to see Macy’s first performance in Canada and get HELP!

Take this shlumpadinka quiz!
If your answer is maybe to any question you may be a shlumpadinka:
* Is your birthstone melatonin?
* Is your favourite designer bed, bored & beyond?
* Is your favourite food deep fried anything?
* Are your nighties by Ralph LauRen, the father of Kylo Ren?
* Are you guilty of the nonstop frump?
* Are you in a really anal, nonstop relationship with a chocolate bar?
* Do your new friends ask you: are you on email?
* Are you pretty sure it’s the Chinese year of the sloth?
* Is your favourite InterNetflix show Watch Again?
* Are greasy food stains on your oversized clothing just a funky pattern to you?
* Have you ever used a plate of spaghetti as your comfy cushion?
* Is your goal step count a single digit?

We’re very happy to co-present this shlumpy night with Images Festival

April 16 – 10:30pm
The Garrison
1197 Dundas W @ Ossignton

Hosted by Mary Messhausen
With Buzz and Peg
Djs Produzentin and Das Hussy

$15 Door – $10 before 11:30pm
$10 with Images ticket stub of Conundrum Clinique screening

Shlumpy Saturday

https://www.instagram.com/p/BClS1s9H7Jb/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BClTiKvC_pe/

View this post on Instagram

no shlumping

A post shared by Mary Messhausen (@marymesshausen) on

Join Us at the Hotnuts Open Barn

Hotnuts Pride Poster

Join us at the Hotnuts Farm for total Pride oinkstasy – our barn doors are wide open! AVAN LAVA from NYC are gonna plow through our weed fields and tear up the Hotnuts stage! We saw them at the Stargayzer Festival in Austin last year and immediately knew we had to bring them to Toronto.

Saturday, June 27, 10:30pm to 4am
The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St W. @ Ossignton

Hosted by Mary Messhausen with Buzz Huneedew and Peg
DJs Produzentin, Das Hussy and Jeremy Glenn
$12 limited pre-sale tickets – $15 at door

Sow, get your outfit ready because the best things in life are gluten freaky at Hotnuts Open Barn! Here are some dress up toptions to get the early turd:

* Shitland Pony
* Free-range cluck-buddy
* Bull and Moolinda Gates (The Power Cowple)

* Oven fresh in-bread
* Wigs in a blanket
* Whole weed

* Chia LaBouef (whoreganic)
* Amy Swinehouse
* Heiffer Locklear

* GMOprah
* Crop top
* Tofurkey hole
* Molly had a little lamb

All species and LGBTTIQQ2S are welcome to join the Open Barn multiverse.

About AVAN LAVA
AVAN LAVA have staked their claim as one of New York’s most vibrant pop acts—a kind of natural bridge between late night club culture and kaleidoscopic pop theatricality. In doing so, the trio of Ian Pai (producer/drummer), Le Chev (producer/keyboard/guitar) and TC Milan (vocals) have earned a fervent fanbase and managed to bring their raucous live show to points all over the globe.

The band’s current EP — Make It Real — (released in March via Atlas Chair Records) serves as a euphoric pop blueprint for their increasingly dynamic live show: a communal party experience characterized by nonstop dancing, the occasional blast of confetti, and a profound sense of joy.

Join Us At The Sculpture Garden

Spring is just around the corner of a sexy rock bottom! Bust out your most gargoylian statue look and spend the night prancing around in the Hotnuts Sculpture Garden.

We’re very happy and excited to have our dear friend V Δ N E S S Δ taking over the stage. The front woman of the band LIONESS is going solo now & will be performing songs of her soon to be released debut EP.

Performance by V Δ N E S S Δ
Hosted by Mary Messhausen
With Buzz Huneedew and Peg
DJs Produzentin and Das Hussy

Saturday, March 28, 10:30pm to 4:30am
The Garrison
1197 Dundas St W. @ Ossignton
$10 at the door

Here are a some marbleous sculpture toptions:
*** Michelangehole
*** 50 Shades of Greyson Perry
*** Penis de Milo

*** Lana del Clay
*** Labronze James
*** Lance Brass

*** Sphinxter
*** Jeff Poons
*** Stone Minge

*** Maresin Carey
*** 3D Plinther
*** Bust a Rhymes
*** Nam Junebug Paik

Prepare to get carved in stone(d).

Sculpture Garden

Halloqween!

For this year’s Halloqween we’re excited to bring Bunny Michael to the Hotnuts stage. She’s the Nature Slut Telepathic Goddess from the future. Bunny is coming in from Brooklyn with her DJ/producer Bruno Coviello (Light Asylum).

Hosted by Mary Messhausen
With Buzz Huneedew and Peg Zilla
DJs Produzentin & Das Hussy

Friday, October 31st, 10:30am, $10
The Garrison
1197 Dundas St W @ Ossignton

Make sure to check out Bunny Michael and Hotnuts in NOW and an interview with Bunny in dailyXtra.

Hotnuts Halloqween with Bunny Michael

Come as a nature slut veg qween in your highest potato wedge heels and win $100 in our best costume contest! Here are some toptions:
*** Aubergenie in a bottle
*** McCauliflower Culkin
*** Asparagus van Sant
*** Mariah Carrot
*** Celery Dion
*** Saladin
*** Heavy Petting Zucchini
*** Porn on the Cob
*** Mileek Cyrus
*** Denzel Squashington