Owls on a Raft

Mary Messhausen and I needed some time off. So when our gingerheaded photographer friend Kyle offered to take us to his cottage right by the water, it sounded like the perfect opportunity to leave the busy city behind.

When we arrived at the cabin we found that run-down raft laying by the lakeside. In a heartbeat we hopped on the makeshift vessel. After the first excitement wound down and the fishing was done, we totally chilled out on the raft. So chilled out that we fell asleep.

After what must have been at least an hour we woke up and could barely see the coast. We felt like the biggest gaytards ever.

Watch the desperation unfold after the jump.

Photos by Kyle Tryhorn. Mary’s dress by JOFF.

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Fishing is fun

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Chasing rainbows

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Owls on a raft, before the nap

Continue reading “Owls on a Raft”

The Tiny Pony and Me (tiny)

On my trip to Dildo I saw this turbo cute pony eating away its lunch on a front yard. I wanted to get my picture with the little bugger immediately. My stylists rang the doorbell of the owners. Sure enough they happily agreed to the quick photo shoot.

Now, back in Toronto, I’m a bit sad because I forgot the name of my tiny friend.

Always hungry, just like me
Friendly. Always eating. Just like me.

Wanted to bite my hand
Surprised. The pony wanted to bite my hand.
It made very sudden head movements. I had to be extremely careful.

Hugging
Happy. Hugging the pony. What a catch.

Angry shit
Angry. I had to wash my shoes off of the pony excrements.

Earlier:
At the Dildo Interpretation Centre
One Day in Dildo
On the Discovery Trail

At the Dildo Interpretation Centre

On my trip to Dildo I visited the local Dildo Interpretation Centre, which is basically a small museum with all things Dildo.

They have old fishery reports from 1894 one can study, a huge whale skeleton and lots of other interesting nick-nacks. I spent hours wandering through their exhibition grounds. It felt like being part of a lost fantasy world. Truly amazing.

Up next: My date with a pony

Where its at
Come on in, it’s fun

Follow Me
The Gates of the Dildo Interpretation Centre

Hot bones
The whales are stranded

Hold your hands as I told you
The Queen has arrived


Get your plaid on

One day in Dildo

Hitchhiking to Dildo

Our tour of Newfoundland continued with a visit of the lovely town Dildo. This is a beautiful little community on Trinity Bay, right at the Atlantic.

When we drove into Dildo I hoped for crazy Dildo merchandise and all. Soon we got the feeling, that the Dildonians want to downplay the name of their town. I still don’t now why, I think they should totally work it: Dildo cutlery, Dildo cocktails, Dildo shoes, Dildo hats. So many possibilties!

However, here is the Dildonian explanation of how Dildo got its name:

“D’Isle Duo” can be translated into Spanish, Portuguese and French, all roughly meaning ‘two islands’. With respect to our community, we believe these two islands to be Spread Eagle and Dildo Island, both visible from our community. Over time, with the dialects of the settlers, the flow has been lost and it evolved into Dildo.

Me loves them islands names, bys.

Up next: My visit to the Dildo Interpretation Centre.

Dildo here we go
Captain Dildo blew my dress

Up close with Captain Dildo
Up close and personal with Captain Dildo


With them local Dildonian girls

down by the harbour
Just chillin’ down by the water

Dildo: rescue me
A Dildo can save your life

I need a refill
All the girls to the harbour, the big truck is in town

he was the cutest
This cutie wanted to take me on a ride in his truck

On The Discovery Trail

I’m still in Newfoundland, getting the tour did by me Newfi friend Anthony (I’m trying to gets me Newfi accent on, bys).

We just had the most wonderful day. Driving around Trinity Bay made my heart jump for joy. And kept our imagination going. The road to Heart’s Desire leads through Heart’s Delight and most importantly, the town named Dildo.

I will tell you more about the trip and Dildo in the next couple of days, once I’m back in Toronto.

Bring me to Dildo, please
Dildo gets me going

Now, take me to Heart's Delight
Let me be your Heart’s Delight

My Heart's Desire
My eyes glittered with desire. This is where I want to be.

Road Trip: Niagara Falls, Part III

Annie Taylor became the first person to survive a trip down Niagara Falls in a barrel. Almost 105 years later, Nancy and I wanted to be like her. So we got our asses into a barrel and took a deep breath. We got a Polaroid taken, dried our clothes after the successful plunge and went back to Toronto.

There was nothing left to do after all the excitement.
Complete satisfaction.

Daredevils
Going down the falls. Looking increasingly like The Muppets.

Flowers
Lovely flowers.

Girls
Now, back to the car, hurry.

Back in the car
Totally working my Kirstie Alley as Fat Actress look.

Earlier:
Road Trip: Niagara Falls, Part II
Road Trip: Niagara Falls, Part I

Road Trip: Niagara Falls, Part II

Here are a few pictures of Nancy and me with tourists. These were the most adorable people we met. We love all people. Even the haters.

All photos by Gates of Schimbulak.

Tomorrow, part III: The experience.

Nancy, I don't see them
The haters gave us a dirty look.

At DQ
We met these girls at Dairy Queen. They were fabulous. Lots of fun.

She was the best
We felt like meeting our long lost sister.

We adored the baby
Cutie pie.

His heart pounded like crazy
More cuteness. We love all cuties. Even underage.